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Being Good Friends - Lung Cancer Patients



              There is no real wrong way or right way to be there for a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer.

We have all reflected back at some point wishing we did this or didn’t do that, however the important thing to remember is that you are there.  Your presence is literally being there for the someone you love who is battling this terrible disease. 

Each one of us will deal with the situation differently, we will grieve differently, we will deny differently and we will all be angry differently. The thing is that we will all go through those stages, because those stages are important when it comes to accepting what your friend is going through. It will allow you to be able to be there for them, to get them through this, because it’s not about us, it’s about them. They are the ones battling cancer and your support and love is the best thing you can do to help them. 

One common mistake is treating your loved one differently because they have cancer. This is an important aspect to understand and remember. Though it will be hard, you need to treat them as you would normally. Laugh with them and tell jokes like you normally would. Yes, you may be sitting at home or in a hospital when doing this, but the important thing to remember is that it’s not about where you are but who you are with. They are already uncomfortable because they are ill, so making them feel like they aren’t is very important.
Another thing is to not be afraid of silence. Silence does not mean you are not handling it correctly or you are not being there enough for them. At some point in your life with them you had silence, times where you were just in each other's presence doing something, so comfortable with each other that you didn’t need to fill every second with noise. Embrace that and enjoy every moment the same way you have in the past. Being very close to someone, building a special bond is unique, so it's ok if you experience it now. We don’t always have the right thing to say and sometimes it's ok to say nothing at all. Don’t stop being a friend to them or coming around because you don’t know what to say. They don’t need you to say the right thing, they just need you to be yourself with them.

Don’t just offer the help, actually show up. Some friends and loved ones may try and shut you out. Please try not to get too upset about this as they are going through something much harder. If anything this should make you push harder.

Don’t ever give up on them because they need you more than you realize, even if they don’t say